It just so happens to be the birthday of the most important man in my life. Happy Birthday, daddy. I love you so much.
When you think about it, celebrating the birth of someone's life is amazing. Considering that our world's population is growing far too rapidly and diminishing far too slowly, I am still amazed how much joy one birth can bring to this world. Whether it's actually giving the birth, holding your significant other's hand while they push, or being the doctor/midwife/doula that can bring a child in to this world...birth is a wonderful thing.
And not just the birth, but the living. The learning to walk, talk, eat on your own. Then the growing, the running, learning to ride a bike. Then driving, singing with friends in the car, taking roadtrips. And right on up to college, graduation, and making a name for yourself in the world. Maybe your life didn't happen exactly like that. Maybe your life was interrupted with something else. Maybe you felt life pass by too quickly when you watched your mother suffer through colon cancer. Your father with dimensia. But you might have also gotten to see your wife's hair grey, your children grown healthy and happy, and your sister married to someone perfect for her, even if she was 40 years old at the time.
Life is something to be celebrated, remembered, and rejoiced. Life is something that amazes me every day. And while my daddy saw and did all of those things, I am so glad to know that I'll get to see him do much more in the years to come. Happy 60th birthday, daddy. I love you with all my heart, and thank you for giving me so much to look up to, look forward to, and to just look at.
Current song - You'll Be in My Heart - Phil Collins
Friday, August 10, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Stress, BEDA Days 7-9
Why yes, I am putting days together this month. I find it the only way to keep sane.
As the school year approaches [and my last semester of college] I have found that I am more stressed than I've ever been before. I find myself longing for two planners just to keep all of my dates straight, and I'm scared that 24 pencils and 12 pens that I bought are simply not going to be enough for all the notes and lists that I will be making over the next four months. I have also been given tons of work to begin and have had about 4 meetings with various theatre people for shows I will be working with.
And then I think about it. Why do I get so stressed out? Am I putting too much pressure on myself, or is it simply because I procrastinate too much? This semester is going to be different because I don't get a break. I will be in rehearsal, on my game, all semester. I don't have a moment to breathe, much less lose my cool. My title of stage manager requires keeping my head up, my chin down, and everyone, myself included, calm and happy throughout the rehearsal process. So I'm taking vitamins, I'm going on walks/runs to relieve stress, and for these last few days of summer, I'm getting away from Auburn to make certain that I don't lose my cool before classes start. I wouldn't have taken on this many responsibilities unless I knew I could handle it. Well, I might need a drink every night, but I really think that I can do this.
What does everyone else do to relieve stress? I don't have anything to punch, and I don't want to rant on here about nothing important, so I run.
Current song - Super Trooper - Mamma Mia! soundtrack
As the school year approaches [and my last semester of college] I have found that I am more stressed than I've ever been before. I find myself longing for two planners just to keep all of my dates straight, and I'm scared that 24 pencils and 12 pens that I bought are simply not going to be enough for all the notes and lists that I will be making over the next four months. I have also been given tons of work to begin and have had about 4 meetings with various theatre people for shows I will be working with.
And then I think about it. Why do I get so stressed out? Am I putting too much pressure on myself, or is it simply because I procrastinate too much? This semester is going to be different because I don't get a break. I will be in rehearsal, on my game, all semester. I don't have a moment to breathe, much less lose my cool. My title of stage manager requires keeping my head up, my chin down, and everyone, myself included, calm and happy throughout the rehearsal process. So I'm taking vitamins, I'm going on walks/runs to relieve stress, and for these last few days of summer, I'm getting away from Auburn to make certain that I don't lose my cool before classes start. I wouldn't have taken on this many responsibilities unless I knew I could handle it. Well, I might need a drink every night, but I really think that I can do this.
What does everyone else do to relieve stress? I don't have anything to punch, and I don't want to rant on here about nothing important, so I run.
Current song - Super Trooper - Mamma Mia! soundtrack
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Pain, BEDA Day 6
Today's theme hits home for me today. Actually, I'm sure all of these themes will hit home for me. I have been in pain for most of the day, starting with the announcement that I have early stages of pink eye, and finishing with back pain all day because of the air pressure of dreary weather.
Every time I am in pain whether it be a stubbed toe, or what feels like chronic back pain, I remember that there are much worse problems than mine. Some people in this world don't have water, some animal out there is being abused, some child is hungry right now with no meal in sight. Whatever it is, I remind myself that I whine and feel sorry for myself entirely too often. Now, I'm not going to lie, I'm not too hard on myself for whining when I literally can't get out of bed for an entire day. But what I'm saying is that it's not all about me. As much as I'm a 'princess' or bubbly type of person, I'm also heartfelt with everything that I do.
So this might be a short post, but just remember to smile for the things you do have, even when it doesn't feel like much.
Current song - Give Your Heart a Break - Demi Lovato
Every time I am in pain whether it be a stubbed toe, or what feels like chronic back pain, I remember that there are much worse problems than mine. Some people in this world don't have water, some animal out there is being abused, some child is hungry right now with no meal in sight. Whatever it is, I remind myself that I whine and feel sorry for myself entirely too often. Now, I'm not going to lie, I'm not too hard on myself for whining when I literally can't get out of bed for an entire day. But what I'm saying is that it's not all about me. As much as I'm a 'princess' or bubbly type of person, I'm also heartfelt with everything that I do.
So this might be a short post, but just remember to smile for the things you do have, even when it doesn't feel like much.
Current song - Give Your Heart a Break - Demi Lovato
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Family, BEDA Day 5
Never have I felt so attached to my family as I have today.
I feel sorry for the people that have awful home lives. They don't understand what it feels like to have a loving father, a mother who wants to give you the world, and siblings who pick on you but really love you deep down. I have all of that and I am completely grateful for it...although I wasn't this grateful until about the past year and a half.
I used to hate my mom. I remember my childish memories, thinking that mom knew nothing, that I was right, that nothing could make me feel better. Now, all I crave is my mommy's hug, the way she smiles at me when she's proud of something I've accomplished, and the feel of her braiding my hair when I'm sick and pitiful. My mom is the best thing I ever could have asked for, and I feel spoiled and lucky to have had such an amazing person to care for me all of my life.
Today was a day where I feel like I actually paid my mom back for a little bit of her love. She was disrespected and treated horribly, and I stood up for her. If anyone ever tries to mess with me or my family....oooo they had better watch out. I've always been a rebel from the family: believing things differently, being the 'crazy' kid of the bunch....but I've learned a lot. I might not be exactly who my parents hoped I would be, but I've made them proud. And now, when someone tries to threaten my mother, I will bring the smack down. You can't be rude to someone when they have done nothing rude to you. I just don't understand how someone MY AGE can talk to someone twice their age with such disrespect. Maybe it's the old-fashioned girl in me, but respect your effing elders. They've been through a lot.
So point blank: don't mess with my mom. I will not be nice.
Current song - Slipping Through My Fingers - Mamma Mia! movie soundtrack
I feel sorry for the people that have awful home lives. They don't understand what it feels like to have a loving father, a mother who wants to give you the world, and siblings who pick on you but really love you deep down. I have all of that and I am completely grateful for it...although I wasn't this grateful until about the past year and a half.
I used to hate my mom. I remember my childish memories, thinking that mom knew nothing, that I was right, that nothing could make me feel better. Now, all I crave is my mommy's hug, the way she smiles at me when she's proud of something I've accomplished, and the feel of her braiding my hair when I'm sick and pitiful. My mom is the best thing I ever could have asked for, and I feel spoiled and lucky to have had such an amazing person to care for me all of my life.
Today was a day where I feel like I actually paid my mom back for a little bit of her love. She was disrespected and treated horribly, and I stood up for her. If anyone ever tries to mess with me or my family....oooo they had better watch out. I've always been a rebel from the family: believing things differently, being the 'crazy' kid of the bunch....but I've learned a lot. I might not be exactly who my parents hoped I would be, but I've made them proud. And now, when someone tries to threaten my mother, I will bring the smack down. You can't be rude to someone when they have done nothing rude to you. I just don't understand how someone MY AGE can talk to someone twice their age with such disrespect. Maybe it's the old-fashioned girl in me, but respect your effing elders. They've been through a lot.
So point blank: don't mess with my mom. I will not be nice.
Current song - Slipping Through My Fingers - Mamma Mia! movie soundtrack
Revamp, BEDA Days 3 & 4
I'm combining these two days because the theme has been the same for me.
Have you ever felt the undeniable urge for change? I'm not a person who is afraid to change my life up every once in a while. In fact, I am one of those people who needs a change often. I am in the midst of completely re-doing the color scheme that I have obsessed over for the past four....no, make that...eight years of my life. My life used to be hot pink, black, and zebra print. Now...eight years later, I'm going for more of a grey and pale dusty blue environment. I want more muted and sophisticated. I know that my adventurous and rebellious self is dying to see hot pink, but I know that my head and my heart are ready for a change.
So I painted my room in my parents' house, I bought a new bed set and sheets, and made the accent pillows a more adult theme. I am very excited about this, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this post up, but I really am ready for this change. I'm ready for people to see Kelly, not just a crazy excited girl that wants to make people like her all the time. I'm looking at making myself happy before I make others happy. A little selfish, but a lot well-deserved.
Sorry if this post doesn't make any sense. It does now...while I'm writing it. But it might not later. Comment if you actually understand!
Current song - Waterloo - Mamma Mia! movie soundtrack
Have you ever felt the undeniable urge for change? I'm not a person who is afraid to change my life up every once in a while. In fact, I am one of those people who needs a change often. I am in the midst of completely re-doing the color scheme that I have obsessed over for the past four....no, make that...eight years of my life. My life used to be hot pink, black, and zebra print. Now...eight years later, I'm going for more of a grey and pale dusty blue environment. I want more muted and sophisticated. I know that my adventurous and rebellious self is dying to see hot pink, but I know that my head and my heart are ready for a change.
So I painted my room in my parents' house, I bought a new bed set and sheets, and made the accent pillows a more adult theme. I am very excited about this, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this post up, but I really am ready for this change. I'm ready for people to see Kelly, not just a crazy excited girl that wants to make people like her all the time. I'm looking at making myself happy before I make others happy. A little selfish, but a lot well-deserved.
Sorry if this post doesn't make any sense. It does now...while I'm writing it. But it might not later. Comment if you actually understand!
Current song - Waterloo - Mamma Mia! movie soundtrack
Friday, August 3, 2012
Responsibility, BEDA Day 2
Yesterday was full of taking the dog for a walk, [check out my VEDA/FEDA videos all month on my YouTube channel] getting paint to paint my room, and spending the rest of the day at the theatre working on stage management [SM] preliminary work for the year. All of these tedious and fun tasks got me thinking about how many responsibilities I place upon myself every day, and how so many people add responsibility to their lives all the time.
I chose to start walking my sister's dog because I felt that not only did I need a fitness routine, but that the puppy needed to lose some 'puppy fat' that she had gained while I'd been away. One routine added: 6:30am walks.
I begged my mom to let me paint my bedroom because I hated the color and I wanted to make a lasting change at our house that she could work with. Another responsibility on my plate: painting a room on my own.
Stage management in general is one of the most grueling processes I've ever been through in my life. Add on the pressure of me wanting to be perfect, and you've got a recipe for disaster. Taylor and I worked on paperwork, SM kits, bulletin boards, and putting together a new handbook for all SMs. It doesn't sound hard, and it isn't, but add that to the list of hundreds of other things I need to get done for each show, and try the addition of about 100 more responsibilities: stage managing.
It seems that responsibility finds me, asks me to do all of this work. Maybe it was because I was so self-centered in middle school and high school, and now karma is paying me back. Maybe it's because I am gaining more of my mother's work ethic, and I am getting annoyed when things aren't getting done properly. Maybe it's because I'm about to graduate and I want to busy myself so I don't have to think about the future. Or maybe it's because I feel like I have to prove something to the world.
Does everyone feel like this? I think so. We wouldn't have volunteers out in the world helping the world become a better place if that wasn't so. But I'm not even going to mention the slackers. Maybe that can be another day's theme. I know that they exist, and maybe another reason I place so much responsibility on myself is because I don't want to be like the idiots that lie around doing nothing, caring about nothing, and thinking of nothing but themselves. I want to leave a lasting legacy in this world and I want the people I've met to remember that I was someone they could depend on.
So these 'themes' for BEDA might be very self-reflective, or maybe they'll have a global perspective. I'm not sure yet, but I hope whoever reads this like it. Now, time to paint!
Current song - rockmyrun mix again. Pump Your Fist in the Air
YouTube: www.youtube.com/spiritofatree
twitter: @kellybronwync
website: www.kellybronwyncochran.com
I chose to start walking my sister's dog because I felt that not only did I need a fitness routine, but that the puppy needed to lose some 'puppy fat' that she had gained while I'd been away. One routine added: 6:30am walks.
I begged my mom to let me paint my bedroom because I hated the color and I wanted to make a lasting change at our house that she could work with. Another responsibility on my plate: painting a room on my own.
Stage management in general is one of the most grueling processes I've ever been through in my life. Add on the pressure of me wanting to be perfect, and you've got a recipe for disaster. Taylor and I worked on paperwork, SM kits, bulletin boards, and putting together a new handbook for all SMs. It doesn't sound hard, and it isn't, but add that to the list of hundreds of other things I need to get done for each show, and try the addition of about 100 more responsibilities: stage managing.
It seems that responsibility finds me, asks me to do all of this work. Maybe it was because I was so self-centered in middle school and high school, and now karma is paying me back. Maybe it's because I am gaining more of my mother's work ethic, and I am getting annoyed when things aren't getting done properly. Maybe it's because I'm about to graduate and I want to busy myself so I don't have to think about the future. Or maybe it's because I feel like I have to prove something to the world.
Does everyone feel like this? I think so. We wouldn't have volunteers out in the world helping the world become a better place if that wasn't so. But I'm not even going to mention the slackers. Maybe that can be another day's theme. I know that they exist, and maybe another reason I place so much responsibility on myself is because I don't want to be like the idiots that lie around doing nothing, caring about nothing, and thinking of nothing but themselves. I want to leave a lasting legacy in this world and I want the people I've met to remember that I was someone they could depend on.
So these 'themes' for BEDA might be very self-reflective, or maybe they'll have a global perspective. I'm not sure yet, but I hope whoever reads this like it. Now, time to paint!
Current song - rockmyrun mix again. Pump Your Fist in the Air
YouTube: www.youtube.com/spiritofatree
twitter: @kellybronwync
website: www.kellybronwyncochran.com
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
who skipped a month? certainly not me...BEDA Day 1
Hello everyone!
Long time, no see!! Well I have no real explanation for it, but I have missed blogging. I forgot that sometimes I just need an outlet. Well, what better month to do my venting than August? Every. Single. Day. Here I go...August bring me luck and sanity, I'll be needing it!
I plan on having a subject for every single BEDA post this month, whether it's superficial or a little more down to earth. I hope that I won't be just writing about how my days are going because they are likely to be more stressful and boring as the end of the month approaches. So what should I talk about today?
Health has been on my mind for quite a while now. Here is my health spiel:
Today's society in the United States is probably one of the most sickening things to me. Girls are expected to be sticks, boys are expected to be ripped. Not only is the unhealthy for the body, but for everyone's mind this can be hugely detrimental. Having personally dealt with emotionally scarring issues concerning my 'health' I can honestly say that none of this matters. People can torture you by telling you that you're not good enough, day after day. Then once that ends, you realize how much of an impact those people had on you, and you begin judging yourself more than anyone ever realized. Let's just look at the definition of 'health'...
From www.dictionary.com, health is defined as:
1. the general condition of the body or mind with reference to soundness and vigor
Long time, no see!! Well I have no real explanation for it, but I have missed blogging. I forgot that sometimes I just need an outlet. Well, what better month to do my venting than August? Every. Single. Day. Here I go...August bring me luck and sanity, I'll be needing it!
I plan on having a subject for every single BEDA post this month, whether it's superficial or a little more down to earth. I hope that I won't be just writing about how my days are going because they are likely to be more stressful and boring as the end of the month approaches. So what should I talk about today?
Health has been on my mind for quite a while now. Here is my health spiel:
Today's society in the United States is probably one of the most sickening things to me. Girls are expected to be sticks, boys are expected to be ripped. Not only is the unhealthy for the body, but for everyone's mind this can be hugely detrimental. Having personally dealt with emotionally scarring issues concerning my 'health' I can honestly say that none of this matters. People can torture you by telling you that you're not good enough, day after day. Then once that ends, you realize how much of an impact those people had on you, and you begin judging yourself more than anyone ever realized. Let's just look at the definition of 'health'...
From www.dictionary.com, health is defined as:
1. the general condition of the body or mind with reference to soundness and vigor
2.soundness of body or mind; freedom from disease or ailment
4. vigor; vitality
Not ONE of these definitions includes an ideal body weight, amount of muscle, or lack of curves to achieve 'health'. This is what irks me about today's world. Because when people [myself included] are on a 'health kick' it usually means that they're trying to look better. What being healthy really means is to feel healthy, to make healthy decisions in life. None of this even talks about food.
I recently have been on a health kick and in trying to be more healthy and work out, I pulled a muscle in my back. Why do I do this? I am an 'all or nothing' kind of girl. So my 'sane' thoughts figured that working out twice a day every day would be fine, right? Wrong. I spent all day yesterday in bed, as well as a good portion of today. Not only that, but I wasn't even doing all of the work outs that I enjoyed. I miss yoga, meditation, and calm walks. But no, all I could think about was how I need to start running more for an eventual half marathon I wanted to do. I have to remind myself that instead of being strong and thin, all my body really needs is to be sound and vigorous. So I will be taking things slowly...as slowly as I can. Walking the dog in the mornings instead of trying to run. Taking a Zumba class, but also taking a yoga class. Reminding myself that taking a nap might be better than doing 10,000 sit ups.
Since I'm starting to exaggerate again, I feel like I should sign off. Welcome back, readers! I am here for at least a month, and I'm expecting to enjoy this. Probably more than you all.
Current song - random running mix from www.rockmyrun.com I heard this morning on my 2.5 mile dog walk
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