School's done. I'm free to do what I want. I completely cleaned out my desk area and did a new puzzle along with hours upon hours of Shaytards watching. My brother is being super sweet and I have no responsibility whatsoever. Sounds great, right?
Wrong. What is wrong with me? I have the classic 'there's nothing to do so let's let my mind wander and freak me out' syndrome, and that is never a good idea. The last thing I need to do is to let my mind wander. I have too many things to think about. Finances, life in general, how I'll survive in Florida, friends, the dooming shadow in front of me that is school, the list goes on. And I don't want to deal with it.
Like Madeleine, I had an amazing day on Sunday. I got to wake up when I wanted, do whatever I desired, and basically have a care-free existence for a day. And now? I can only think about the issues in my head. And the worst part is, some of them I don't even want to share here. No matter how much I try to avoid drama there seems to be a shit ton of it in my life, and I'm tired. I'm utterly exhausted.
On the plus side, I have an apron to finish, packing for Florida, lots of healthy food to make new recipes with, and tons of movies, books, and sudoku puzzles to work on. I have things to distract me. So I'll be distracting myself for a while. I'll be trying to escape in to a world that I can enjoy, because this one is just tearing me down. I just want to enjoy my summer!
Current song: You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift [it was on an episode of the Shaytards....]
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
feeling a little guilty...
So...I've kind of been procrastinating all day. I have two papers to finish up and I just used Father's Day as a study excuse. That wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that I gave myself Saturday off too....*sigh*
I'm planning on going to the library before and after class tomorrow to work feverishly on it. The other issue I have with these papers is that I have no reason NOT to be working on them right now. In fact, for 9:55pm, I'm feeling a little motivated to work on them. But I'm not working. My book for research is open and I just....am not working. I have to do something productive, but I keep making excuses.
I've decided to re-read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows recently just because the trailers reminded me how much I have skimmed over and only have a brief knowledge of. I've been limiting myself to only reading 3 chapters a day so that I DO do [haha I said dodo] my schoolwork, but with this whole procrastination method I'm thinking that the only way I'll be productive tomorrow is by reading 3 extra chapters today and denying myself that pleasure tonight. OR....I could read the books I'm supposed to be finding quotes for tonight and underline them so that when I'm sick of writing tomorrow night I can just go ahead and let myself read some HP to cheer me up. Do you see my dilemma?! Life is so hard sometimes.
I think that my biggest insecurity with papers is that I don't do research papers well. I'm not good at finding quotes, I don't like speaking in third person, my grammar isn't always perfect....and all of those things make me freak out and call myself a bad writer. I'm actually a good writer...when it comes to things like blogs or scripts or stories. But this lit paper is very straightforward and I'm so lazy about it because I hate finding quotes and I just am being negative. I'm determined to do it well tomorrow, so I'll probably start working on finding quotes tonight. *sigh* [again]
This is the last week of summer school and I cannot wait to finally enjoy my summer!!! I filmed footage for my WDW vlog last night but it sounds extremely cheesy and since SarahSnitch's channel got deleted I don't have her videos to reference. I feel like I need to make them more casual, but at the same time they need to be attention-grabbing. I think I'll put this video up as a test, and maybe change the formatting/style of my videos as I continue. I'm itching to buy a real video camera, but money is a big issue and since I've heard from some fellow Cast Members that no one is really getting hours right now, I'm a little worried that I won't be able to make enough money to meet my summer saving goals.
I didn't realize that I had so much to talk about tonight but it actually feels really good to get some of these thoughts out in the open. I'm excited to have the rest of the summer to get away from Auburn, but I need to have gas money, hours to work with, and savings for the numerous groups of people coming to visit throughout the month, LeakyCon, and my summer savings goals. [an iPhone, a video camera, and maybe either some Toms or some Rainbows] I guess we'll see what happens but for now I'm just hoping for a decent amount of work and for WDW to pick up crowd-wise so I can get lots of hours. I miss working my ass off and getting decent paychecks all summer!!!
Current song - I'll Be There For You - The Rembrandts
I'm planning on going to the library before and after class tomorrow to work feverishly on it. The other issue I have with these papers is that I have no reason NOT to be working on them right now. In fact, for 9:55pm, I'm feeling a little motivated to work on them. But I'm not working. My book for research is open and I just....am not working. I have to do something productive, but I keep making excuses.
I've decided to re-read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows recently just because the trailers reminded me how much I have skimmed over and only have a brief knowledge of. I've been limiting myself to only reading 3 chapters a day so that I DO do [haha I said dodo] my schoolwork, but with this whole procrastination method I'm thinking that the only way I'll be productive tomorrow is by reading 3 extra chapters today and denying myself that pleasure tonight. OR....I could read the books I'm supposed to be finding quotes for tonight and underline them so that when I'm sick of writing tomorrow night I can just go ahead and let myself read some HP to cheer me up. Do you see my dilemma?! Life is so hard sometimes.
I think that my biggest insecurity with papers is that I don't do research papers well. I'm not good at finding quotes, I don't like speaking in third person, my grammar isn't always perfect....and all of those things make me freak out and call myself a bad writer. I'm actually a good writer...when it comes to things like blogs or scripts or stories. But this lit paper is very straightforward and I'm so lazy about it because I hate finding quotes and I just am being negative. I'm determined to do it well tomorrow, so I'll probably start working on finding quotes tonight. *sigh* [again]
This is the last week of summer school and I cannot wait to finally enjoy my summer!!! I filmed footage for my WDW vlog last night but it sounds extremely cheesy and since SarahSnitch's channel got deleted I don't have her videos to reference. I feel like I need to make them more casual, but at the same time they need to be attention-grabbing. I think I'll put this video up as a test, and maybe change the formatting/style of my videos as I continue. I'm itching to buy a real video camera, but money is a big issue and since I've heard from some fellow Cast Members that no one is really getting hours right now, I'm a little worried that I won't be able to make enough money to meet my summer saving goals.
I didn't realize that I had so much to talk about tonight but it actually feels really good to get some of these thoughts out in the open. I'm excited to have the rest of the summer to get away from Auburn, but I need to have gas money, hours to work with, and savings for the numerous groups of people coming to visit throughout the month, LeakyCon, and my summer savings goals. [an iPhone, a video camera, and maybe either some Toms or some Rainbows] I guess we'll see what happens but for now I'm just hoping for a decent amount of work and for WDW to pick up crowd-wise so I can get lots of hours. I miss working my ass off and getting decent paychecks all summer!!!
Current song - I'll Be There For You - The Rembrandts
Monday, June 13, 2011
i want to kill this man
Seriously. I've never had a worse professor. I don't understand why people gave him a good rating on ratemyprofessor. May I smack him? He makes no sense, he doesn't teach well, he gives terrible lectures, and he makes me want to scream. WHAT THE HELL, MAN?! Why were you hired, why are you here, why is anyone making good grades in this class?! He's such an idiot and I really hate him. I'm sorry, I usually don't hate people at all, but holy crap I don't see how he survives with the way his personality is. He's so scatterbrained and he can't even follow his own train of thought half of the time. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Just kill me now. Please.
Current song - Fuck You - Cee Lo Green
Just kill me now. Please.
Current song - Fuck You - Cee Lo Green
Sunday, June 12, 2011
well...
that was....interesting. I had fun, but nothing's changed. Yes, it was awkward. Yes, I'm still the bad guy no matter what. Yes, that sucks because I did nothing to deserve that title. But no, I'm not fazed. Unfortunately, I have nothing else to expect in that situation.
I had a great time at the Tony's party and now I'm tired and cranky and really need to study for my midterm. I'll wake up at 6am to do that, no worries.
Current song - Anything Goes - Anything Goes soundtrack
I had a great time at the Tony's party and now I'm tired and cranky and really need to study for my midterm. I'll wake up at 6am to do that, no worries.
Current song - Anything Goes - Anything Goes soundtrack
Friday, June 10, 2011
100th post!
Hey guys! So this is kinda perfect, because I have a lot of great news for this momentous post!!
I had an amazing day today! I LOVED the ethics lecture today in class, [we talked about...well I don't remember much of it, but I really agreed with all of it] I think I did okay on my lit quiz, [first time I've felt okay about a quiz in the class] and I made some headway on my apron.
Oh, did I not mention? I'm making an apron. From scratch. My first ever sewing project, and it's going to be ADORABLE!!! I have a few pictures! The first one is the fabric I bought for it:
And the next one....well it's not uploading well right now, but it's some progress!!! I can't wait to see the finished result, and if you're interested in this project I can start putting more frequent updates, just let me know in the comments!
Tonight I'm at home having some margaritas with my mom and sister, watching a chick flick, and spending the night so I can go yard sale-ing with them in the morning!!!
Have an amazing night and I'll talk to you all later!!
Current song - Armory - Tron: Legacy soundtrack
I had an amazing day today! I LOVED the ethics lecture today in class, [we talked about...well I don't remember much of it, but I really agreed with all of it] I think I did okay on my lit quiz, [first time I've felt okay about a quiz in the class] and I made some headway on my apron.
Oh, did I not mention? I'm making an apron. From scratch. My first ever sewing project, and it's going to be ADORABLE!!! I have a few pictures! The first one is the fabric I bought for it:
And the next one....well it's not uploading well right now, but it's some progress!!! I can't wait to see the finished result, and if you're interested in this project I can start putting more frequent updates, just let me know in the comments!
Tonight I'm at home having some margaritas with my mom and sister, watching a chick flick, and spending the night so I can go yard sale-ing with them in the morning!!!
Have an amazing night and I'll talk to you all later!!
Current song - Armory - Tron: Legacy soundtrack
Monday, June 6, 2011
here's my determination face!
I just got done watching Kristina's newest video about her passions and when she talked about writing it really made me want to write a quick blog. Now while writing isn't one of my big passions, it is something I enjoy doing and blogging has become a great place for me to let out whatever I'm feeling.
I've been pretty sick for the past while, an infection on the left side of my tonsils, but I am now on the mend and making sure to take care of myself as much as I can so that I don't have to miss any [more] school and so I can have fun outside of classes. I have also decided that this week I will get a lot of schoolwork, theatre work, and personal work done so that I can feel like I'm on top of things again! I have lots of plans outside of homework, so I want to be free to do that without the burden of that homework hanging over my head. My plans are this: have a sound learning tutorial at the theatre this week, put together my Disney puzzles, frame them, and hang them. I also want to make my first Disney vlog for the summer and work on that, probably on a second youtube channel. I really want to focus on this idea because eventually I want to vlog a lot more and be able to make this more of a hobby. I have felt that ever since the follow the butterflies channel stopped happening, I haven't done anything on youtube, and it would be great to get back in the game about that.
So that's a quick update on my life. I'm going to work on going over some notes and reading Beowulf for classes so I can watch a Disney movie and work on puzzles tonight!!!!
Current song - Teenage Dream - Glee soundtrack
I've been pretty sick for the past while, an infection on the left side of my tonsils, but I am now on the mend and making sure to take care of myself as much as I can so that I don't have to miss any [more] school and so I can have fun outside of classes. I have also decided that this week I will get a lot of schoolwork, theatre work, and personal work done so that I can feel like I'm on top of things again! I have lots of plans outside of homework, so I want to be free to do that without the burden of that homework hanging over my head. My plans are this: have a sound learning tutorial at the theatre this week, put together my Disney puzzles, frame them, and hang them. I also want to make my first Disney vlog for the summer and work on that, probably on a second youtube channel. I really want to focus on this idea because eventually I want to vlog a lot more and be able to make this more of a hobby. I have felt that ever since the follow the butterflies channel stopped happening, I haven't done anything on youtube, and it would be great to get back in the game about that.
So that's a quick update on my life. I'm going to work on going over some notes and reading Beowulf for classes so I can watch a Disney movie and work on puzzles tonight!!!!
Current song - Teenage Dream - Glee soundtrack
Thursday, June 2, 2011
summer classes suck, amongst other things
Summer classes, as mentioned in the title, really suck. If you miss one day you're really screwed because a lot of the classes are from the lecture and on top of that there is a bunch of reading. I'm not okay with this because I think I'm getting sick and I cannot miss another day.
I also have some severe back pain that kept me awake from 1am-4. It hurts really bad and I wish it would all just go away. I've made a chiropractor appointment for that. For the sickly feelings, I'm thinking about going to either the med clinic or urgent care soon just because I cannot afford to be sick at all right now. I really need to do well in school and being sick is not only putting a toll on my body, but my mind won't allow me to think either. *sigh* Can it be July yet??
The Tear Heals - 'Tangled' soundtrack
I also have some severe back pain that kept me awake from 1am-4. It hurts really bad and I wish it would all just go away. I've made a chiropractor appointment for that. For the sickly feelings, I'm thinking about going to either the med clinic or urgent care soon just because I cannot afford to be sick at all right now. I really need to do well in school and being sick is not only putting a toll on my body, but my mind won't allow me to think either. *sigh* Can it be July yet??
The Tear Heals - 'Tangled' soundtrack
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