I'm doing my current Design project on irrelevance. It's for an existentialist play [Waiting for Godot, grr] but it really made me think about relevance and time. Does time even really matter? It's been 21 years since I was born, and I'm still trying to find the relevance to time with my life, and why any of it even matters. I always have this image of me taking my time to do things, but I end up realizing that I'm rushing through life, flitting from one thing to another. And I don't think I know how to slow down...or even if I want to. If I slow down, I'll probably start finding things about myself that I've been trying to hide for a while. I'm not ready for those things to come out yet.
I'm typing this out while I'm in design class and the professor KEEPS TALKING while we're supposed to be working!! I'm so over this class. I'm over a lot of things right now, I just want to escape again. I can see that this professor is trying to push our brains to learn new things, but I just don't have the energy for it anymore. I really want to get through this semester and my last two and just leave. This is one of those times that I just need to escape and get away. I've never wanted to really be here. I'm sure you all know that though.
Sorry that this month has been a depressing month for my blog. Unfortunately, my life hasn't been going that well, and this is my only outlet. I'm ready for a paper journal again so that I can write everything down without anyone seeing. There are some demons that the internet isn't quite ready for yet. So thanks for reading a month of themed posts...it kinda helped me. I want to keep blogging a lot because this is really helping me. I'm not the best writer, but I need to get things out in the open as much as possible.
Current song - Dear John - Taylor Swift
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