So I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am and what I want from life.
This is really hard for me because I have so many interests that it usually feels like I'll never find the one that's meant for me.
I don't know if you guys know this but there are a lot of reasons why I like Belle, and this one is a reason that I don't share very often. Belle knew that there was more out there than the tiny village she lived in. She was different and quirkier than anyone she knew, but it didn't feel quirky to her. She willingly gave her freedom to the freakiest beast and [what she would find to be as] prince. She not only put up with, but adapted to the strange way he did things and eventually tamed him. Somehow he ended up cherishing her and treating her like the princess she deserved to be. So the reason is, she is unlike any other princess because she fell for someone crazy/scary/unknown and made him her own.
Does this make sense to anyone? Because this is totally how I feel. As much as a "prince charming" is appealing to most girls, I don't feel like most girls. Yes, I'm a girly girl and love being spoiled, surprised, and doted upon but I also have a different side to me. I'm adventurous, try new things, and I enjoy adapted to others. I don't give up who I am but I always try new things to see if I like them. This quaint town of Auburn has it's appeal to some people: it's small, charming, and close to cities so that it can keep it's small town appeal. But on the other hand, it's a close-minded[for the most part], leech town that will trap you if you don't find a way out fast.
Here are some reasons that I'm different than a lot of people [and if you all can relate...well then I'm not different than you but I feel like it]
-I like big cities and want to live the crazy high life, but I also love going camping, sitting on the beach, lake, or mountains and roughing it.
-I love learning, but I hate school. [that's an easy one to guess/relate to]
-I hate being told what to do, and yet sometimes I'd rather someone command me to do something. [long story, it depends on my mood]
-I would adapt to almost anything for the man I fall in love with, but I still want to keep my likes/personality/flair and teach them to open their minds too.
-I could see myself being the ultimate wife, or I could totally be free as long as I get spoiled, supported, and get to live the life I want to live.
Now that I think about it, anyone reading this blog probably feels the same way about most of this, but you know what? In Auburn this isn't the case. Most of the girls just want to find a husband, have babies, and be the ultimate soccer mom. Now while I could totally do that, I choose not to. Yes, I want a husband one day. Kids will depend on our relationship. But no, I will not give in to the man all the time and lose my identity because I get married.
This post has jumped all over the place, but the point is....I have no idea what's in store for me and I don't care! I'm working through life, making choices, mistakes, and learning from all of it. No matter how much you can relate to this post, I am much more different than you can imagine. I barely scratched the surface into this subject and that's okay because I don't want to freak anyone out. I just want to get it out there that as much as I'm loving the single life right now, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find someone who can not only put up with me, but love me in spite of all of that. That thought only bothers me when I think about it for too long.
Current song - Ridin' Solo - Jason Derulo
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