Okay, so this is only the second day that I've really been negative, but it counts. It's been a long, torturous day, and I'm about to call it quits for the night. I've been critiqued a lot when I already felt terrible about myself, and I've felt horribly alone. You know, one of those days where you can get twenty hugs from people that love you, but it's not from the one person that you really need it from? That's what happened. And the worst part is, I have no idea who that one person is. So that made it worse, feeling utterly alone and without someone that truly cares. I care for other people all the time. I would literally take a bullet for all of my friends. And yet, even though I know a lot of people would do the same for me, there's something different. I want that person that's my best friend and the love of my life. I want the person that can make me happy with just a look. I want to be held in their arms and reassured that I don't have to be strong all the time. That's what I'd like.
I know that at the end of the day [maybe not this one, but most of them] I'm happier being single and free to be myself than I would be attached to someone. I know that being strong for people is my 'thing' and that I'd probably be unhappy if I couldn't be that person. But today was just one of those days where nothing else mattered. I wanted those unknown arms to run in to. I wanted to be comforted by the one person that will be there for the rest of my life, even if I haven't found them yet.
Current song - Just a Kiss - Lady Antebellum
No comments:
Post a Comment