recap

I actually had a pretty good day so I'd like to tell my lovely blog about it. :)

It's very hard to think that it's only now Monday. It was such a long day. I got through my one torturous class, got paid for a cancelled tutoring session, and did some good studying. I then proceeded to go for another jog with Kaye, and although it was especially tiring, we still felt good about it. I think we're really dedicated. It's very soon to tell, but we both seem to want to make this a long term idea. And it feels amazing to be sore from a workout again. I haven't felt that in months, and I've needed to get in shape for quite some time.

After my workout, I ended up doing a little extra quick walking to get things for a friend and then get myself all the way back home to shower and put on cuter clothes for my voice lesson and the rest of my day. Honestly, I think I've worn four outfits today. Wow. But I went in for my voice lesson and I think I've picked a good song for my Cabaret audition: Shy from Once Upon a Mattress. The best part is that I've sung this song before so I feel pretty comfortable with it already. I would love to be on the stage next semester. I really miss feeling like something is about me. So working out and singing and dancing is a goal right now.

I went to another tutoring session and then headed straight to the theatre for dress rehearsal of our next show. Luckily, we have enough people on the costume crew that I won't need to come back anymore which is FANTASTIC because I really do have a lot of work to do and I'd like to stay on top of things as much as I can this semester so that I can feel good about how this semester went. The show, quick changes, and all around morale went pretty well tonight. I wasn't an emotional wreck, and I even ordered some character shoes in hopes that my audition/dance call for Cabaret goes well! Now I just have to find something fantastic to wear with them for the audition...eek!

Overall, I'm proud of this day. Things are moving along nicely, I feel much more at ease now that I have my nights back [again], and I'm still feeling the motivation to get my body in to nice tip top shape!! I hope that you all are feeling the burn of inspiration, because it feels so good! I'm ready to really be me again, and so far, IT'S WORKING! Look out, world!

Current song - Practically Perfect - Mary Poppins: The Musical soundtrack

neediness

i'm not going to lie...it feels pretty good to be wanted. it also feels pretty good to be needed for help every once in a while. but when someone is dependent on you for everything, or needs you to constantly reiterate the same feelings, things get old.

i've had a few friends that do this. saying 'goodbye' and then seeing them still waving at you and waiting for another goodbye is just annoying. having someone ask you to do mundane tasks that take up a lot of your time because they can't do things themselves is selfish. basically what i'm saying is that i've had to take care of myself a lot over the past seven years. i took care of myself in the high school dorms, in college, at disney world, and everywhere else i've been. yes, sometimes i'm too lazy to get the remote when it's closer to someone, but if something is really going to inconvenience a person i try to get things done on my own. i shouldn't have to be the rock, the mom, or the go-to person for everyone. i should be a friend, a daughter, a sister, etc instead.

sorry for that little tangent. i feel like i'm the mommy here right now and i'm only 21 years old. i shouldn't have this many people depending on me so much. i'm still trying to live my life and do things my way and become and healthier and happier me.

Current song - My Baby Watermelon - Ryan Seiler

quick Sunday morning post

I have to go to work in a few minutes, but I wanted to take some time to write a few things before I got ready for the day. I've had some healthy things going on in my life and since I'm being a positive person, I figured that telling you about my healthy endeavors would be some good positivity for the day!!

Yesterday [I'll be talking about this in my vlog for those of you who are subscribed to both] I knew that a lot of my friends had to be at the theatre all day and I figured that since I had the time, money, and energy to do something good, I would. So my friend Kaye and I made cookies, bought apples and grapes, got some chips and Diet Coke, and headed over to the theatre with some snacks for everyone. The actors got healthy snacks and the techies got nommy snacks. Everyone in that process deserves treats every once in a while. I'm sure I'll be rolling my eyes next week when the divas come out during dress rehearsals and performances [I'm on the costume crew] but for now, it felt good to know that they might smile for someone looking out for them.

Another healthy thing I did was wake up, have some cereal with almond milk, and some grapes for my breakfast. I always forget how delicious healthy food is because I'm usually craving chocolate or chips or something. But I thoroughly enjoy healthy foods and I want to share that side of me. So yay for noms!!

Anyways, this is a short one, but I hope that everyone has a great Sunday and I hope that I can keep my sanity over the next couple of weeks!!

Current song - Shaytards theme song - CallieMoreMusic

so much better!!

This day was made sufficiently better by a few awesome people in my life. I had the BEST heart to heart with my friend Patrick, who is going through a rough time as well, by both of us being super supportive of each other. I then had a pretty good conversation with my friend Clint who I will be seeing in Florida soon! [I'm going to Disney for part of Thanksgiving break, thank goodness] Now I'm off to girl's night with my old roomie, Frances, and we're going to watch Bridesmaids, eat popcorn and ice cream, drink wine, paint nails, and catch up with each other! I cannot tell you how thrilled I am about life at the moment. Drama, I'll save you for later when I have to face you. Give me my life back for a weekend so I can conserve the sanity that I have left!

I hope that you are all having magical nights and I'm sorry that I didn't stay positive for about a day, but everyone needs their time to mope and get over things. I'm sure there will be many more mopey days for me, but I'm proud to be happy and smiling for one of the first times all week! I'll leave you with a picture of me...from Halloween!! It's a big group of everyone that decided to dress as characters from Peter Pan for our party! We have [from left to right] John, Tiger Lily, Michael, Wendy, Captain Hook, Peter Pan, and Nana! Good friends, and I'm so glad we all did that theme! We won second place for the costume contest, so I consider that a success.

Current song - So Much Better - Legally Blonde: The Musical soundtrack

what's the point?

You've haunted my dreams for 4 days. You're a liar, a coward, and still tempting. You turned an independent person in to a blubbering mess. And you just turned in to a hypocrite. I hope you're happy.

Yup, good feelings gone. I'm just going to have to go back to before. I'm putting up my walls again, slowly building that labyrinth so that no one can get in. The armour and mask weren't enough this time. I have to hide behind my walls. I know that someone will break them down again, shattering my world. I'm sure they're the weakest walls ever, because I'm building them when I'm weak, but I need any kind of protection right now. I need to escape, to try to find something worth being happy for again. No one takes the time to learn how to figure out a maze anymore. No one really thinks anything is worth that trouble. So I'll just wait for my labyrinth to be destroyed again, because there really isn't much hope.

Don't hate me for a depressing post. I had the worst night last night and I can't do anything about it.

Current song - Bound To You - Burlesque soundtrack

because, why not?

So as I've told you, this will be a positive month for me. I'm determined. I might be sick, I might be losing my voice, but I WILL PREVAIL!! So here it goes:

I actually had a really good day today anyways. My design professor loved my project today. [seriously, she said it's the best by far this semester] My lit professor said I was on track with my paper. [this is a huge deal because I am the worst paper writer EVER] I got to see my mom for a while because I was being too lazy to do anything...remember, I'm sick. :P And then the kids I watch a couple days a week were pretty good today. And I haven't had to do much more than be a chauffeur for the past 3 weeks and I've still been getting paid. Good deal!

So since I don't have another recipe for you [did any of you like that idea? If you try it, let me know!!] I've decided that I'm going to show you some pictures from my stage makeup class this semester. I'm particularly proud of the accident victim and the Halloween themed makeups. I'll show you pictures from Fantasy day, I'm going to be a siren from TRON: Legacy!!

So here they are:

OLD AGE

beginnings of FAT makeup

preliminary for BRUISES

ACCIDENT VICTIM 

CLOWN

KABUKI

CATS

HALLOWEEN: based off of a Haunted Mansion dancer from Disney's Halloween parade

So there you are! I hope that you enjoy! Let me know which one is your favorite in the comments below!

Current song - (I Won't Say) I'm In Love - Hercules soundtrack

stresses!!!

I have so much to do this week, it's insane. I had 4 pages of a paper due today, I have a project due tomorrow, and another intense research project due on Friday. I am very stressed out, so what do I do? Procrastinate, of course. My room is spit spot spick and spaaaaan. [if you don't get that reference, click here.] I'm doing laundry, surfing the web, and having a wonderful twitter conversation with some friends. But I PROMISE! I'm going to paint for my project right now!!! Never fear!


In other news, I'm sick. I can't stop sniffling and my body is mad at me, but I'm keeping a positive attitude. I have to, because if I don't...well...it'd be bad. But that's a goal for the month, to try to be more positive. I like making small goals. :)

So here is a recipe that I'd really like to try, for your enjoyment:
Homemade Pita Chips
Ingredients:
- pita bread
- olive oil
- garlic salt [or Ranch powder]
- parmesean cheese

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
1) Cut [or tear] pita bread in to chunky pieces.
2) Place pieces on to a cookie sheet or baking pan.
3) Rub a little olive oil on each piece of bread. Sprinkle the garlic salt and parmesean cheese on top of each piece.
4) Put the tray in the oven. Bake for 5-10 minutes.

Enjoy!! Dip them in marinara or another sauce!