feeling a little guilty...

So...I've kind of been procrastinating all day. I have two papers to finish up and I just used Father's Day as a study excuse. That wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that I gave myself Saturday off too....*sigh*

I'm planning on going to the library before and after class tomorrow to work feverishly on it. The other issue I have with these papers is that I have no reason NOT to be working on them right now. In fact, for 9:55pm, I'm feeling a little motivated to work on them. But I'm not working. My book for research is open and I just....am not working. I have to do something productive, but I keep making excuses.

I've decided to re-read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows recently just because the trailers reminded me how much I have skimmed over and only have a brief knowledge of. I've been limiting myself to only reading 3 chapters a day so that I DO do [haha I said dodo] my schoolwork, but with this whole procrastination method I'm thinking that the only way I'll be productive tomorrow is by reading 3 extra chapters today and denying myself that pleasure tonight. OR....I could read the books I'm supposed to be finding quotes for tonight and underline them so that when I'm sick of writing tomorrow night I can just go ahead and let myself read some HP to cheer me up. Do you see my dilemma?! Life is so hard sometimes.

I think that my biggest insecurity with papers is that I don't do research papers well. I'm not good at finding quotes, I don't like speaking in third person, my grammar isn't always perfect....and all of those things make me freak out and call myself a bad writer. I'm actually a good writer...when it comes to things like blogs or scripts or stories. But this lit paper is very straightforward and I'm so lazy about it because I hate finding quotes and I just am being negative. I'm determined to do it well tomorrow, so I'll probably start working on finding quotes tonight. *sigh* [again]

This is the last week of summer school and I cannot wait to finally enjoy my summer!!! I filmed footage for my WDW vlog last night but it sounds extremely cheesy and since SarahSnitch's channel got deleted I don't have her videos to reference. I feel like I need to make them more casual, but at the same time they need to be attention-grabbing. I think I'll put this video up as a test, and maybe change the formatting/style of my videos as I continue. I'm itching to buy a real video camera, but money is a big issue and since I've heard from some fellow Cast Members that no one is really getting hours right now, I'm a little worried that I won't be able to make enough money to meet my summer saving goals.

I didn't realize that I had so much to talk about tonight but it actually feels really good to get some of these thoughts out in the open. I'm excited to have the rest of the summer to get away from Auburn, but I need to have gas money, hours to work with, and savings for the numerous groups of people coming to visit throughout the month, LeakyCon, and my summer savings goals. [an iPhone, a video camera, and maybe either some Toms or some Rainbows] I guess we'll see what happens but for now I'm just hoping for a decent amount of work and for WDW to pick up crowd-wise so I can get lots of hours. I miss working my ass off and getting decent paychecks all summer!!!

Current song - I'll Be There For You - The Rembrandts