I hate when people are douches.
I hate when people are cowards.
I hate when people are passive agressive.
I hate when people use me.
I hate that I get so angry about these things.
I hate that it's really hard to confront them about it.
I hate that I have these feelings.
I hate that I always have to be the stronger person, the 'big girl' and fix the mess.
I hate that I annoy people.
I hate that after I get used, hurt, humiliated, and rejected, I still have to smile and pretend like everything's okay.
I hate that when opportunity does come, I push it away.
I hate that there are absolutely no opportunities that I see happening in the near future.
I hate that being strong about this is slowly weakening me on the inside.
I still hate that people are cowards.
I hate that I get treated like shit and am expected to be okay with that.
I hate that I'm the one that gets made out to be the bad guy, when it's really them.
I hate that the second something goes wrong, people freak out.
I hate that I can be one of those people.
I hate that there's not one person I can really talk to about this without feeling like shit.
I hate that I keep bringing it up.
But most of all,
I hate that I messed up, I did something wrong, and things didn't happen like I wanted.
Sorry it's such a downer, but I needed to get that off of my chest before I exploded with anger. Screw this. I'm sick of it. I want to punch you, and I'm not a violent person. I want to scream at you, for you to scream back, and for us to finally tell each other what we feel. But then, I want everything to be okay, and I want to be happy....I don't want to hate you. I guess that means it's time to put on my big girl panties and confront the situation like an adult. Something you can't do.
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