life update!

Well hello there!

I know I've been quite terrible at blogging this year, but I did want to update you on a few things, one even being blog related!!

- I have applied for an internship for the summer working for Disney Entertainment Tech. As much as I'm trying not to get my hopes up about it, I'm realizing more how good it will be for me and how much I really want the opportunity. I'm waiting to hear back from them for my next step and every day that passes leaves me anxious. My stomach is actually in knots just typing about it, so let's move on.

- One of my friends is starting a Disney News blog [I'll keep you all updated, don't worry!] and he was asking around to see if any of his friends would help. I told him that I am swamped with things but that of course I'd love to be a part of it somehow! He responded telling me that he'd be doing the actual news part, whereas I would be doing something like 'travel tips' or 'my CP experience' or something and that sounds exactly like something I would like doing, so I think that I'll be working on it! Are you guys excited??? Because I know I am!!

- I'm working on our university's production of Cabaret and let me tell you...it's wonderful. I love it so much and I'm stepping out of my stage management comfort zone to learn about lights. I'm a follow spot operator [not as easy as I thought it would be] and I'm learning more about the technician world. I know that I have issues with taking things too literally sometimes, so I try to take deep breaths and remind myself that when the guys I work with are hating on me over headset, they really don't mean it. I just have a hard time sometimes. Last night was pretty difficult for me, but at least I can tell when I'm being stupid about it, and I'm learning to change it. So other than the somewhat hard to deal with social side of the tech world, I'm loving it. I'm learning a lot and that is always fun.

- I'm taking some iffy classes but I'm enjoying one particularly: Advanced Costume Construction. There's something about working with my hands on Monday/Wednesday mornings and putting a plain piece of fabric through a sewing machine to make something beautiful that I love. I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something, whereas in almost all of my other classes I feel bored to tears and that none of the things I'm listening to in a lecture will help me down the road. So I'm making myself a corset right now, and I'm loving the way it looks. It's a very long and laboring process, but I know that the end result will make me happy :)

I think that's about all for right now. Are you happy with my update? I'll write again soon!!

Current song: Life is a Cabaret - Cabaret
twitter: @kellybronwync
YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/spiritofatree

forgotten

This is probably going to be a really selfish post, just to let everyone know.

So, today's my birthday. Facebook is blowing up with warm wishes, my mom brought me flowers, and people are texting me. And yet...I feel awful. I've spoiled so many friends on their birthdays: taking them to dinner, watching a movie with them, going out with them, you name it. And...no one is really going out of their way for me. My life feels a little overshadowed. I don't care about the Super Bowl today or going out getting drunk with people. I want to feel loved, I don't want to be lonely. And I feel the loneliest I've been in a long time right now. The sucky part about my birthday being so close to Valentine's Day is that I never have someone for either of them. So I'll just say it: it'd be nice to have a guy. To hold me, care for me, and spoil me every once in a while. And that doesn't exist. I'm alone right now. So maybe my birthday will get better, but until then...I'll be here. In my room. Sitting in my bed. Doing homework.

Strawberry Fields Forever - Across the Universe soundtrack